lunch with matteo

As I was driving Matteo to school on Friday we started talking about how parents can have lunch in the class. I'd never done it before and told him that we'd have to figure out a time when I could come in.

"Come today, Mom!" he said.

I started to explain that I'd have to check my schedule and I had a lot to do at work and blah blah blah... And then I stopped myself. There was absolutely no reason I couldn't go. My schedule was open. Of course I could totally leave the office for 30 minutes with Matteo. What was I thinking initially saying no?

Boy, that was the best decision I think I've made in months.

I walked in to a bustling classroom of 25 preschoolers getting ready for lunch. I thought that parents sat at the larger, group tables with all the kids. But his teachers gestured toward the a special table for two, only used for parent visits, right next to the window. They quietly told me how Matteo had proudly set the little table all by himself, without being prompted, with a small yellow gingham table cloth, china plates and real silverware.

Just then Matteo walked out of the bathroom with a small glass in his hand. "Hi, Mom! I'm getting you water!" He was beaming and I was so happy to be there.



We sat down together and he showed me how he takes all of his food out of his lunch bag and arranges it neatly on his plate. He showed me how he cuts his Pirate Booty open with scissors. He pointed out the spoon he set out for me for my yogurt. I had surprised him with his favorite meatball sandwich from Subway and he excitedly told his teacher about it. After we were done he picked everything up and put it away in either the trash, recycling or compost bins. Then he picked up the dishes and silverware and put them in the wash bins.

A couple of months ago, one of his teachers told me that Matteo had created his own job for himself in the classroom. He had been watching the older kids and their classroom jobs for a while and decided he wanted one. Since all the jobs were already claimed he decided to invent a new job for himself. So after the kids finished their lunch he started going around to all of the tables and taking the tablecloths off of them. Then he'd ask the teacher if she wanted them folded or put in the wash that day, and would follow her instructions (with a very serious look on his face). I love that story. I love that he's a good helper, but I especially love that he was so motivated to help that he came up with his own way to make a difference.

Watching him on Friday was so gratifying. I was so proud of him and so happy I got a glimpse of his life at school. It also was a good lesson to try to not let my knee jerk response be "no" all time.

We're already planning our next lunch date.

start to the season

The basketball season kicked off last week and Matt's team is 3-0, including a huge win last night over one of the top 10 teams in the state. Go East! His team this year is so good!

It's so fun to be in the gym after a good win. This was the end of the first game.

[flickr video=11073123854 secret=7b55f6babc w=400 h=225]

seven months

I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, people. Updates soon? I hope so!

halloween 2013

We had a very eventful Halloween that included trick-or-treating no less than three times. When Matteo and I first talked about me also buying a costume this year I wasn't sure it would be worth the investment, but I think I got my money's worth.

First, last Friday night we started with the Downtown Madison Family Halloween with our friends Stefanie and Ayla.









Then, last Sunday we went to the zoo for their Halloween party.



This time Matt came with us and also dressed up, which was awesome. After finding that the majority of the parents in attendance (which was like 2,000 people) were NOT dressed up, it kind of became his worst nightmare. But he was a great sport about it and I think this photo is going to be one of our all-time favorites.



And for those who want a front-view of Vincent, here is our very own Superbaby.



After all of this happened the idea of Halloween started to get confusing for Matteo, especially when when I would try to explain that it still wasn't actually Halloween yet and we had more trick-or-treating to do in our neighborhood later that week. By the time October 31st finally arrived he was exhausted. Normally we participate in a Halloween parade in our neighborhood but he asked to skip it this year. (It didn't help that it was raining and we had to slightly modify our costumes. Like the boots?)







After about three blocks he said he was ready to go home. Remember those Berenstain Bears books with "Too Much" in their titles? Like "Too Much Birthday", "Too Much TV", etc? Well this was our own version - "Too Much Halloween". Plus, I think we were both ready to get back to this guy.



We made it one more block so we could hit the spookiest house in the neighborhood, the one that always does it up big with buried skeletons in the front yard and a smoke machine. And then we went home to this.



Although he was tired of trick-or-treating he wasn't tired of eating candy and Matteo was hoping the candy that we didn't give away would be added to his own stash. A few minutes after we got home the doorbell rang and two teenage girls were on our doorstep. As I was going for our candy bowl to offer them, Matteo ran straight to the door. At the same time they politely said, "Trick or Treat!", he yelled

"WE DON'T HAVE ANYMORE CANDY!"

That kid is too clever.

staying in the pictures

Before Vincent's baptism I went shopping for something to wear for the ceremony. With Matteo's help, I ended up with a really pretty orange dress from H&M. Orange is his favorite color (Or was at the time, anyway. Apparently it's now red and purple.) and after four months of new motherhood it felt nice to dress up again.

We had family photos taken of everyone after the ceremony, which we just got back last week. When I saw the pictures my first reaction was to cringe. Ugh, I groaned. The pretty orange dress was no match for the extra 20 pounds of baby weight still hanging on. My first thought was that I looked like a pumpkin. My second thought was to hide the pictures - hide them with all of the other unflattering photos of myself I've been amassing since I started birthing children.


with Vincent's godparents, my aunt mary and my brother

I take very few photos of myself these days and I can count the number of family photos of the four of us on one hand. Mostly it's because I'm the one usually behind the camera. But when someone does take a photo of me, it's not uncommon for me to delete it, especially in the first few months after having a baby. The chubby, tired, frumpy woman who frequently appears in these photos is someone I struggle to accept.

I read this essay last year and it really resonated with me. I re-read it again today, after seeing these ridiculous post-partum pictures of Kate Middleton and feeling shitty about myself. Thank goodness I did. It was a brilliant and comforting and a good reminder, of why I need to be in the pictures. As the author later wrote in a subsequent essay on the same topic:

"...our family pictures do tell our stories. They are the stories we plan to pass to our children, to help recount to them and help them remember from where and whom they came. But even more than that, keeping ourselves out of these pictures -- out of these stories -- can symbolize something greater about how we see and treat ourselves as both mothers and human beings, and our children are watching. I am hoping that we might accept ourselves, perceived warts and all, as valuable, integral, essential parts of our own stories. I'm hoping we can value ourselves in our everyday forms as mothers, women, caretakers, warriors and, most importantly, individuals. "

(She wrote about this topic again, and what she's learned from a year of being in pictures, just a couple of weeks ago. Read it here.)

I'm vain, I'll admit. But I can handle that. What I can't handle is doing a disservice to my kids. From before they were born I've been working hard to create a rich collection of photos and messages from loved ones for them. The gift of their history is something I want to make sure I give them. So why am I being such a vain jerk and editing myself out of it?

"We're sporting mama bodies and we're not as young as we used to be... The kids are so much cuter than we are; better to just take their pictures, we think.

But we really need to make an effort to get in the picture. Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves -- women, mamas, people living lives. Avoiding the camera because we don't like to see our own pictures? How can that be okay? (from, here")

Life is about much more than the superficial. We try and teach our kids this lesson all the time. Why is it so hard to follow our own advice?

I'm going to work on this. So what if I look like a pumpkin? So what if I'm not playing volleyball in heels and flashing my taut stomach three months after giving birth? (Kate Middleton, I love you but I gave you a serious side eye with that one.) I'm going to stop being such a hater and start making sure I'm in more pictures - LOTS more. (Sorry instagram friends, you've been warned.)

Mama friends, I know I'm not the only one who goes through this. Who's with me on staying in the pictures?

grilled cheese season

Is it me or are grilled cheeses everywhere these days? (See here and here.)

One of my favorite kinds of grilled cheese sandwiches is the kind you get at a diner - the kind that comes with crunchy buttered bread and gooey American cheese and a little bit of pickle.


the Big Boy triple decker

But I also enjoy a little more flavor, hence, the grown-up grilled cheese. I was first introduced to grown-up grilled cheeses in 2005 in Domino magazine and their winning combinations of Gorgonzola & Honey, Cheddar & Mango Chutney and Smoked Mozzarella, Prosciutto & Basil.



I have made all three and each one is a home run. And, if you have the time, they make the BEST party food. Our local sub shop sells day-old loaves of their bread (which is the size of a baguette but much softer) so if I'm cooking for a group I'll pick up 6-8 loaves, a hell of a lot of butter, and go to town making piles of mini sandwiches.


best party food ever

Here is a closer look at the recipes - complete with beer parings!



You know what else I like on my grilled cheese? SUGAR. Here's another winner of a combination. This recipe calls for a panini press but I just grill mine up in a pan. (Click on the photo for a closer look.)



Happy grilling!

vincent - 6 months