back to baby

Matteo's new room is just about finished. (I'll post photos as soon as I finish hanging pictures on the walls.) When we started this project we weren't sure when he'd be interested in moving in. We'll have the baby sleep in our room in a bassinet for the first few months so technically, he wouldn't have to leave his old room for a few more months. But as soon as the wallpaper went up a couple of weeks ago and it started to look done he started sleeping there and hasn't looked back.

(It was right around this time last year that we took apart the crib and turned it into a little bed for Matteo.)



Last weekend we spent our time getting the room back in baby-mode again. The bed was turned back into a crib. The toddler clothes were moved into Matteo's new room and the onesies will soon be taken out of storage and put back in the dresser. Baby toys and gadgets will come down from the attic and be set up.

With this pregnancy, although I've gained less weight, I feel bigger and the baby feels bigger than I did at this time when I was carrying Matteo. While there aren't any other big projects to wrap up, there is a long list of little ones that need to be taken care of and I have a new sense of urgency about finishing them. I'm nesting for sure, and a little harried, but Matt keeps reassuring me that if the baby came tomorrow we'd be fine.

It's starting to dawn on me that I'm going to have to go through labor again. Despite the fact that my labor with Matteo lasted 42 insane hours, I look back on those days and think, "Well that wasn't so bad!"

That's some serious selective memory for you there, folks.

I subscribe to a weekly e-newsletter through a parenting site and the other day I opened it up, left it running in the background while I worked on other things, and came back to it only to discover a video playing of a women smack dab in the middle of birthing a baby. I mean she was in it to win it and everything was out there for the world to see. I arrived just in time to see the baby slide out followed by the placenta.

When I think back to my delivery the things I choose to remember are things like how comfortable the bed felt, the feeling of holding Matteo for the first time, and the room service menu where I could order anything I wanted after he was born. But as Matt always reminds me, "Just look at what we have. Of course you'd do it again in a second to have another one of these." He's right. He's exactly right and this time around, while I do feel less prepared since I haven't been attending classes and thinking about birthing a baby 24-7, I am so much less afraid.

happy valentines's day!

Matteo sent us off today with big Valentine's Day 'family kisses', where he puts his head between our and smooches us both at the same time. Tonight we'll be celebrating by going out for heart-shaped pizza at our usual Valentines's Day place. Valentine's Day is a lovely day and always reminds me how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life.

It's less than six weeks until the official due date and I'm trying to soak up as much of Matteo and our life as a family of three as I can. Of course we're thrilled about meeting the new baby. But we also recognize our world is about to change dramatically. It's kind of ironic. Just when we've gotten to this awesome stage where Matteo is growing up, and so helpful and independent, and we can actually find time to relax after work and on weekends (and I mean we JUST got there, as we've only been enjoying this for the last few weeks), life is going to be plunged into newborn chaos-mode again in approximately 47 days.

Matteo no longer seems like a toddler to me. He uses the toilet all by himself, clears his own dishes, picks out his own clothes and dresses himself with little help. He's thoughtful and kind and very conscious of our feelings. He always asks us about our day, and the other night after Matt's team lost a game he said, "Tough day, Mama. Tough loss for Dada." The other day we came home to find Emma the cat had thrown up on the floor so he went to the kitchen and got out the yellow bowl I use with him when he's sick to his stomach and set it out for her.

He's so excited to meet his new brother and when we asked him if he wanted to get a little gift for the baby, he said he wanted to give him a baby basketball hoop. While I know I'm going to have to be really sensitive to him and his feelings, especially the fact that he won't be the sole focus of my attention, I also feel really hopeful that he will embrace his new role as a big brother.

Happy Valentine's Day to my sweet boy, my superstar husband and to all of you who are reading this today. xoxo

Emma and Matteo

Matteo and our kitty, Emma, are finally starting to become friends.





He still doesn't quite understand why she doesn't want to cuddle with him on demand, but this is big progress. I've tried to explain that maybe if he stopped growling at her like a tiger and didn't chase her around the couch on a daily basis she might feel more comfortable around him. But to his two-year-old mind that just doesn't make any sense.

puddle jumper

The weekly photo and update from Matteo's classroom:



"When I hand the tag to the parent of a child whom is soaked from head to toe at pick up, it is with joy that I can tell them that their child has fully experienced the pure happiness of the outdoor classroom, which includes splashing in the playground puddles. This is supported by the Montessori Philosophy that is so brilliant, in the way of allowing the children to get dirty and wet with no repercussion other than having to put on a dry pair of socks. I want to say thank you to the parents of Toddler 3 for supporting our freedom to explore and the natural consequence method."

This morning when I dropped him off at school, I asked his teacher how his week has been.

"Awesome!" she told me.

That was the best thing I've heard all week. The BEST!

Can I just say how awesome it is to hear how well he's doing? It IS awesome - on so many levels! He still has his moments where he pushes or pinches cheeks (he's a notorious cheek pincher), but it's all within the realm of normal toddler behavior. The majority of his time interacting with other kids is so positive and fun and he is really thriving in this new environment.

Since he's been at Montessori we've noticed so many great changes at home, too. He says 'please' and 'thank you' all the time, he uses the big toilet (not always accurately, but whatever), he engages us in conversation and asks "How was your day, Dada?" I know these developments are age-related, and a natural a result of his desire to be more independent combined with his increased vocabulary. But I also think at this new school his high-energy is being channeled in a more positive way. Instead of always being scolded for being so overwhelmingly active, he's being re-directed to other experiences that stimulate his curiosity and challenge his mind. He's learning self-control and he's learning he has options.

And all of that is so awesome!

our own selves

It's purple Friday for Ravens fans, which means I'm looking like Grimace today. See what I mean? This was me last weekend at almost 32 weeks.



You know, this is going to sound really stupid, but it just hit me today that we're having another child. Yes, yes, I know. OBVIOUSLY I know that I've been pregnant for the last eight months. And we've been making all sorts of plans to incorporate another human being into our home so it's not like this is a shock. We have been actively planning for this new development as best we can. We're not completely foolish.

But it just hit me that in just a few more short weeks there will be another sweet boy in our lives for us to love and nurture and get to know. I think I've just been imagining he will be like a little Matteo 2.0 because it's my default. I've been imagining him looking like Matteo and behaving like Matteo, because that is the only baby I've really known so intimately. But this morning it occurred to me that this baby is unique and we have absolutely no idea who he will be, only that he will be his own self.

One of Matteo's favorite things to say these days is, "I DO IT MY OWN SELF!" I realized this morning I need to open myself up more to who this new little guy will be and, when he arrives, remember to treat both of them as individuals - not just older and younger versions of the same person.

I'll admit that for most of this pregnancy I've been on autopilot. But that changed for me today. The excitement, the anticipation, the giddiness I felt before Matteo was born came flooding back and made me want to rush home and reassemble the crib.

52 more days.